so cool.

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the descender was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

“Ordinarily,” Dr. Mills continued, “a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide.”

That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. Then old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

Trying to become a better individual

1. Remember that the reward for patience is happiness.

2. 5 seconds stand between you and logic, count to 5, and remember that logic always beats anger.

3. Ask yourself, in 3 weeks, will this (whatever is making you mad) matter to me at all?

4. Be helpful. Hold doors, help pick things up, and offer help and assistance when needed.

5. Accept compliments gracefully.

6. Take criticism gracefully too.

7. Learn to apologize sincerely for your mistakes, inappropriate words and actions towards others.

8. ‘There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.’ -Ernest Hemingway

I have some a lot of growing up to do.

Male PMS exists.

I hate it when you get upset with someone and instead of them just defending themselves(or just saying sorry..but that’s a rare gem), they try to turn it around and make you the bad guy. Like okay. That’s totally going to make things better.

Small issue is then turned into a massive shitstorm.

And then they get mad that you won’t ‘talk’ to them.

Um no, I don’t consider you criticizing and yelling at me to be ‘working things out’.

Every time we get into a fight, you always say how I’m so mean to you and how our relationship is so unfair and I treat you like shit.

If that’s so true then why are you still with me? Seriously?

In all honesty, I can only bear to hear my inadequacies and have you complain about me so many times until I stop giving a shit.

First time you make me feel like shit: I get angry

Second time: Sad

Third time: Wow, I am a shitty person.

Fourth Time: Balling my eyes out. I hate myself.

907,349,237th Time: Fuck you I don’t care.

If I’m as bad as you say I am then you have no one to blame but yourself for still being with me.

But I’m not. And I realize that now.

So either dump me or kindly shut the hell up.

2011…

I can’t even believe how much I have changed from Jan 2011 to Jan 2012. In a sense, it flew by. But it also feels like it’s been a lifetime. I don’t know how that possibly makes sense.

Jan 2011. I was a depressed, angry, heart broken bitch. What happened to me was well deserved. I alienated everyone around me. I was so miserable and wanted to drag everyone down with me. People finally stopped putting up with my shit.

Self loathing and regret ensued for months. It seemed like every step forward was followed by two steps back.

I stayed friends with a boy that I should’ve shut out for my own good, but I didn’t.

Then I made a new friend.

This friend quickly turned into a lover, which slowly turned into my best friend and my home.

Jan 2012. I’ve changed. I’m happy. I’m hopeful. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ll make a lot more this year, and I’ll be better for it.